Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Hoping for No Whammies at 2pm today...

I have the Second Sonogram Jitters.

Mr. Mandolyn keeps reassuring me that everything is fine. It's not that I don't believe him. Most of me does. There's just that little part of me that is scared to death. Maybe it's because I've never made it this far before, never had reason to go for another sonogram. Maybe it's because that little beating heart was so amazing to see that I'm afraid to not see it again. I liked leaving the doctor's office feeling good. I know a good visit/bad visit lottery isn't in play, so why do I still feel like I'm watching the lights race around the huge gameboard? "No whammies, no whammies, c'mon....no whammies and STOP!" I want the grand prize: another heartbeat to watch and good significant baby growth. Maybe it's because I feel like after this time, if everything looks good, I can feel more confident about thinking of myself as pregnant. I've made it a benchmark, although I have a feeling that for me, clearing one benchmark just opens the door to another. Whatever works.

4 comments:

Heather said...

I'm keeping everything crossed!!!!

NO WHAMMIES!!!!

Anonymous Infertile said...

My fingers are crossed for you too!! I'm sending all my positive vibes your way!

aah0424 said...

Oh, I am crossing my fingers and toes!

the_road_less_travelled said...

Hang in there. I'm crossing everything for you as well.