Friday, April 04, 2008

Hello, Provera. We meet again.

I've decided to rename my Aunt Flo. She will be known as "Rosalie" from here on out. Rosalie was a character in a book that I just finished, and I think that a disgruntled vampire seems to fit Flo's description better.

So it is.

I was pretty used to the fact that Rosalie doesn't ever visit me, and was pretty damn okay with that for the year and a half that it lasted. Quite honestly, I was more than peachy to never give her a second thought. It was nice.

And then she decided to unexpectedly show up at the end of February. At first I thought maybe she was just going to ring the doorbell and run off. She dabbled with the idea of staying for a while before inviting herself in and unloading her bags. Rosalie, in her typical style, couldn't make up her mind. She disappeared for six days. But just as I was sighing in relief, she was boldly making plans to move in permanently. The last week she's been a thorn in my side. Ugh. I called my doctor again and he seems to think that an eviction notice might do the trick. I'm going to pick up the Provera Proclaimation this afternoon. Hopefully Rosalie will realize that a month is really too long of a visit. I need a break, vampire chick.

So Hello, Provera. Looks like you're the new sheriff in town.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Things I Learned Today

1. A small bit of plastic from a grocery sack can make it through a baby's gastrointestinal tract relatively unchanged.

2. Even with the above mentioned plastic, a poopy diaper is an irresistible snack to my dog.