A Departure from the Bitter Train

I need something else at the top of my blog page. Something not whiny, not bitter, not unhappy. Because I am incredibly happy. And delighted. And thankful. I have mentioned before how much I hate that so many people tend to want to make pregnancy and caring for a baby a negative thing. It's remarkable. My husband teaches middle school and comes hope exhausted from ignoring all the "You're life is going to be over, dude." comments. "You'll never see your friends after this." I get it, too, especially now that I'm obviously pregnant to strangers and coworkers. "I hope you enjoy your sleep now, because you'll never get it again." "Can't wait to get that baby out, huh? Don't you hate when the kid kicks you in the ribs?" Blah blah blah.

Call it being naive, I don't care, but we're thrilled. We're thrilled at the chance to lose sleep, thrilled to anticipate disgusting diapers, thrilled to have the opportunity to change the focus of our lives to someone else. When my rib cage gets a jolt, I try to remember exactly how it felt. I'm so afraid I'll forget and I want to relish every chance I have to feel this baby in me. (What if I never get to feel it again?) I know it's mildly irrational, but I have a real hard time allowing myself to complain about anything. Getting up twice in the middle of the night to pee? Having to go every two seconds? Ligament/groin pain? Anterior placenta? My impressive display of stretch marks? Honestly, it's fine. All of it. Bring it on. It means that there is a baby thriving in me. How could that be bad? Sure, my life will change, but in the perfect way. I expect to be tired. I expect to be frustrated at times, I expect to be so completely overwhelmed every now and then that I don't know what to do with myself. I wouldn't have it any other way.

For a while, I felt bad because I was causing my husband to toss and turn at night. I started snoring (glamorous, huh?) and changing positions seems to conjure up images of elephants (I'm so graceful it's scary). My favorite comment so far has been, "You tell that husband of yours that he can just sleep somewhere else if your pregnant sleeping habits are keeping him awake at night. Please, it's not like you asked for this!"

Um...yes I did. A lot. I begged for this. Not just the cute, sweet, adorable parts either. Nope, all of it.